Overcome Barriers with Communication

When you reflect on past conversations, do you think about the thoughts you were having but chose not to voice?

If you don't,  it might be because you tend to think of conversations in terms of the words that were exchanged.

But communication is far more than just words.

Think of the communication that is exchanged in the warm smile of a stranger passing by you in the park, or the gleam in little children's eyes when they see a tiny puppy or kitty.

Words are not the only thing that have the ability to communicate.

A while back, I noticed how a thought that I was entertaining got in the way of enjoyable communication with my only sibling.

For some reason, I started thinking that my brother really didn't want to talk to me whenever I called, and that he only talked to me out of a sense of brotherly obligation.

What a silly idea!

But guess what?

It seemed so real for months, until I finally reflected on the fact that I was choosing not to mention what I was thinking during our conversations.

Then I pondered on what it might be like to talk to someone who was thinking that I didn't want to talk to them.

For a moment, just ponder that as well.

Imagine what it would be like to have a conversation with someone who acted like you didn't really want to talk to her.

As soon as I thought about that I started to laugh. Do you know why? I realized that I would not want to talk to that person!

That was my Eureka moment because I saw how I actually communicated the thought "You probably don't want to talk to me" to my brother, even though I never even said it.

My communication then became his communication. When I acted like he wouldn't want to talk to me, he acted like he didn't.

This concept gets so rich when you toss it into the prospecting arena!

Imagine if the communication that you are withholding is something like, "My friends will surely think I'm crazy when they hear I've started another home party business."

I probably don't need to mention this, but you really shouldn't be surprised if you get the distinct impression that your friends are tired of hosting home parties for you every time you start a new home party business.

After all, your communication becomes their communication.

What if the communication that you are withholding is, "I'm too new at this to sponsor someone"?

Even if you do everything like the manual instructs, you will hear far more "nos" than most people.


Your withheld communication "I'm too new at this to sponsor" becomes their withheld communication "I think you're too new at this for me to feel comfortable with you as my sponsor!"

When you experience situations like those above, it can get in the way of you wanting to prospect!

It all comes down to the ol' "Elephant in the room" expression.

If I invited you over to my house and we went into my living room and I pretended as though there were not an elephant in the room, you might find that so incredibly strange that I was acting like it wasn't there that you would feel you would need to pretend it wasn't there too.

Of course on your drive home, you would probably call your best friend and tell them how crazy I was because I spent the whole time pretending that the elephant was not in my living room.

And of course, I would probably call my best friend and tell her how I got the distinct impression that you knew there was an elephant in the room, but you just pretended like there wasn't.

The whole thing sounds totally ludicrous and insane, but dear reader, that situation is truly similar to the way in which we prospect.

Okay, okay, we may not be avoiding something as big and as obvious as an elephant, but whatever it is that we avoid does become part of our communication.

Of course I could give even more examples, but that would just be more about the problem!

Let's get to the solution.

If we go back to that elephant example, even stranger than me having an elephant in my living room is me pretending that I don't.

Consider how much more freedom and ease both of us would have experienced if I had said, "Look, I know this is really strange, but I need to let you know before we go into my living room – there's an elephant in there."

Ah! Thank you!

Now neither of us needs to play some weird version of "Let's pretend."

Authenticity is equally effective in your business.

It sometimes looks something like the following:

"I want to tell you about something that I'm doing right now, but before I do, I gotta tell you... I almost didn't call you because I started thinking that you would just think I'm crazy or a flake because I've the number of times I've started a different home business. But then I realized how silly it would be to not let you know what I'm doing since you are a friend I trust and value."


"I should just tell you that I'm new at this business, and at first I even thought I was too new to sponsor someone. But then I realized how silly that is, since the only way to get good at something is to start."

When you share what you are secretly thinking, you no longer need to pretend that you are not thinking that!

Most importantly, your prospects can now respond completely differently.

Instead of picking up on some hidden communication and reacting to that, they respond with understanding.


There's still more, and maybe this is actually the most important... they cannot help but notice your honestly and they decide that you are someone they can trust.

Gosh, I think that sounds like... in the words of Humphrey Bogart, "the beginning of a beautiful friendship!"